Completely
by UglyKidAtHogwarts
Summary: Harry's life has changed..completely. HP/DM Slash! Please R&R! More chapters later!
1. It's Better This Way

Disclaimer: Mine? Psh. I wish. They belong to Ms. JKR. And don't bother trying to sue. I'm an unemployed high school student who gets her kicks talking 'bout gay men.  
  
A/N: I would like to dedicate this whole story to Essa the Thirteenth. You're a doll and I appreciate everything you've said to me. Everyone should go and read her stuff cause she's amazing. On another note, my first story got 1 response. Seriously. So please, if you want more, review or e mail me at uglykidathogwarts@yahoo.com. If you don't like it, SCREW OFF. No. Just kidding. I want to hear from you if you didn't like it too. I want ALL opinions. So yeah...hope you like it.  
  
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Do you know how long it takes for your life to change completely? Seven days. It's been seven long days and I can still taste his kiss. I can still remember everything that was said. Every touch that I felt. Every breath that we breathed. I'm not entirely sure how or why it happened, I just know that it did and now everything has changed. My best friends hate me, my godfather refuses to hear me out and my enemy, well, I'm not so sure where we stand anymore at all. It's all mixed up and changed because of one choice seven days ago.  
  
Malfoy and I were serving our detention. We'd had another one of our stupid fights. I'm not really sure how it started, I just know it ended with him throwing a hex at me. He missed me and hit Snape who, in turn, immediately began swelling to the size of the Great Hall. Needless to say he wasn't happy and for once gave both me AND Malfoy detention. We'd been sitting there in silence, pretending not to notice the other when I noticed that Malfoy had smeared the trophy polishing grease under his eye.  
  
"Malfoy"I started, " you have grease on your cheek. You look ridiculous." Malfoy's eyes were glazed over when he looked up. He merely sneered at me. He made no attempt to wipe it off.  
  
"Honestly, Malfoy. Can't you do anything without your loyal cronies?"  
  
"Sod off, Potter."  
  
"Oh for Merlin's sake. Here."  
  
I reached my hand up to Malfoy's cheek but my hand never got there. His hand reached out and grabbed my arm. His hands were icy cold.  
  
"It's not grease, all right Potter? Just keep your saintly hands the bloody hell away from me." Malfoy said menacingly.  
  
I looked up into Malfoy's eyes and saw something I never thought I'd see. It was only one tiny flash, but I was sure it was there. Fear. Maybe weakness. Definitely pain. The next moment it was gone, replaced with shame and anger. It wasn't grease, he said. What was it then? What could be so wrong with Malfoy that he'd let me see him weaken? Had Crabbe and Goyle finally gotten the upper hand?  
  
"What is it then Malfoy?" I said quietly.  
  
"Let it go, Potter."  
  
"Look Malfoy. I know we don't get along, but still. If you're in trouble, I can help you get some help."  
  
"Ah, there's the boy everyone loves." Malfoy sneered. " Perfect Saint Potter. Don't you know when not to pry you filthy little prat? Merlin, Potter. You can't fix everything."  
  
"Malfoy, come off it. You're in trouble. I can see it in your eyes. I know you may not want me to know it, but honestly. If you could just come off your holier than thou attitude for more than 5 minutes...."I started, but was cut off.  
  
" My father beats me, Potter. Is that what you wanted to hear?" Malfoy interrupted through clenched teeth. "He beats me to a bloody pulp when I don't behave the way a pureblooded Malfoy should. There it is Potter. Take it and run. That's why Draco Malfoy is such a prick. To hide from his fucking father. Go on then. Poke fun al you want. Go and run and tell Weasel and Mudblood. Just remember it's my word against yours."  
  
His words stung and struck close to home. All I could think of was life at the Dursley's. Of all the times they'd locked me in the closet. Of all the times Uncle Vernon had beat me with his big wide belt when I showed my "abnormality". That's when I made the biggest revelation of my life. Draco Malfoy and I might be on different sides of the wizarding war, but at home, we were fighting the same battle. My heart went out to him at that moment. I, Harry Potter, actually felt sorry for Malfoy.  
  
" I know what it's like." I said quietly, looking everywhere but his eyes.  
  
"Psh. You have no idea what your-"Malfoy started but my anger got the best of me.  
  
My stories came tumbling out one after the other. I told Malfoy everything. I told him how my nightmares weren't only of Voldermort, but of going back to Privet Drive and never returning to Hogwarts. How when someone touched the back of my neck I shivered involuntarily because that's how Uncle Vernon dragged me around. How they'd beat me and locked me in the closet. I told him stories I'd never even told Ron and Hermione. When I was finished, tears were in my eyes threatening to spill over.  
  
"Don't tell me I don't know Malfoy. Don't pretend you know me." I choked.  
  
There was a long dragged out silence before Malfoy began. He'd held his head down while I talked and when he looked up, I noticed that his eyes were glazed over with tears. He very calmly placed his hand on my knee and began. "I was nine years old when it began. I'd asked my father if he thought Voldermort would really rise again. He looked at me with these eyes that weren't his own. He started screaming at me and lashing me with his bare hands. He told me I was wicked wretched boy for even asking and that the only way the Dark Lord would accept me was if I accepted my lashings from one of his faithful servants. My mother just stood there and watched with a bloody smile on her face. Telling my father he was an excellent asset to the DeathEaters." Draco paused and winced as if remembering every blow. " I'm not sure how long it lasted. I just know I was scared of all the blood. There was so much. I thought I was dying." Draco went on for the next hour talking about how his father had cut him, beat him, and made him who he was. How he didn't hate me, his father just told him it was the thing to do. No one rejected a Malfoy.  
  
"You're one hell of an actor then, Malfoy." I said trying to lighten the mood. As I wiped my eyes on my shoulder I became very aware that my hand was holding Draco's and he was lightly squeezing back.  
  
"I'm so sorry Harry, for everything I've put you through." Malfoy's voice was quiet and hesitant. He was afraid and you could hear it in his voice.  
  
What happened next was beyond my wildest dreams. Our eyes met and it was happening before I even knew it. Even now it seems surreal, like little snapshots in my mind: Draco's hands in my hair. His lips on mine. Our tongues slipping past the other's in a slow rhythmic dance. As quickly as it had started, it was over.  
  
Malfoy pulled away quickly. "What the fuck is that, Potter? You think you throw one little pity party and you can kiss me? I don't know what you've heard. I"M NOT QUEER POTTER!"  
  
"Wha..WHAT?" I said, my anger getting the best of me. I tried to look anywhere but his eyes. My eyes ran across his body once, noticing that Draco was visibly hard. "Sure looks like you enjoyed it." I spat back at him.  
  
"Sod off, Potter. Why don't you let Weasley finish what we've started? I'm sure he's good at sucking cock. All those brothers to learn from?"  
  
My anger flared again.. Draco had kissed me and made it look like it was all on me. How in Merlin's name could I have been so stupid? And who did Malfoy think he was? Not queer my left ass cheek. From my recent experience, Draco was as straight as I was a DeathEater.  
  
"Listen, Potter." Draco said interrupting my fuming. His features had softened considerably. "I couldn't be with you even if I wanted. It wouldn't be safe for either of us. My father would kill me and send Voldermort on your ass." His face had fallen and his voice was just above a whisper. I looked at the floor. Tears were threatening to spill down my face again. I'd never kissed a boy before and here I was getting all emotional over Malfoy. When I looked up again, Malfoy was headed out the door.  
  
"Malfoy, wait!" I called after him.  
  
"I'm sorry, Potter. I just....can't."  
  
"Please, can't we talk about this? Malfoy, you don't understand. No one will listen about this? Please let's work it out. Tell me what we are!" I pleaded after him.  
  
"Detention's over, Harry. And so is whatever just happened between us...It's best this way." Malfoy said and he walked out the door.  
  
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Chapter 1: Done! Yay! I really hope you guys liked it. falls to her knees begging Please, please, pleeeeeeeaaaaaase review!! insert puppy dog eyes here Please? 


	2. I Need You Too

Disclaimer: Mine? Psh. I wish. They belong to Ms. JKR. And don't bother trying to sue. I'm an unemployed high school student who gets her kicks talking 'bout gay men.  
  
A/N: To all of you who reviewed, I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU! I cannot express to you how happy I am that this is getting such great responses. I must say I feel the end of this chapter is a little weak, but I hope that the rest of it makes up for it.  
  
To Essa: You are amazing kid! You're such a tremendous help and such a great person to know! EVERYONE READ HER STUFF! I COMMAND YOU! Just kidding about the commanding thing, but seriously? She's awesome. Don't pass on her stuff. To Josh: You're just like a brother to me! Oh wait...you are...My bad. Mmmm...Harry Potter man love. I know you love it kid!.. "Wait...what if they went commando?" Hopefully there'll be some naked man butt later...but not right now!  
  
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I walked back to the Gryffindor commons in a daze. The events of the last few hours kept replaying in my mind. How had it happened? When had things changed? I had known for a while that I was gay, but I'd never acted on it. How had I made my first homosexual experience with Malfoy? I gave my password to the Fat Lady ("bubbling nitwit") and entered the commons.  
  
"Oi! Harry! Are you all right? You look bloody awful!" Ron's voice called from in front of the fireplace.  
  
"Ron! Honestly! You could be a little more....Merlin Harry!" Hermione said sucking in her breath. "You really do look awful. What happened?"  
  
"Thank you both ever so much for that tremendous confidence boost. Now, if you don't mind, I am apparently in dire need of some beauty sleep. Good night to you both." My patience was on end and my nerves were shot. I was livid to begin with and I didn't need their incessant nagging.  
  
"Harry, wait. I'm sorry, it just looks like someone really ripped into you. You know, really gave you a piece of their mind. And, I mean, you did just spend the past 3 hours with Malfoy, ALONE, in the trophy room." Hermione said with concern oozing from her voice.  
  
"You can say that again..." I tried, unsuccessfully, to say under my breath.  
  
"WHAT?!?!" Ron shouted, his face turning as red as his hair. "I'll kill 'em, Harry! Really, I will. Stupid fucking Malfoy. I'll rip off his testicles if he so much as-"  
  
"RON! Just let it go okay? You wouldn't understand." I was not in the mood to talk about it. I hated fighting with Ron, and I knew I couldn't make him see. I was fighting a losing battle and I just wanted to forget everything that had just happened.  
  
"What wouldn't I understand, Harry?" Ron said bitterly. " I can't bloody understand that Malfoy is a stupid pain in the arse? That he should get a good quick kick in the balls because he's such a bloody git?  
  
"It's not like that, okay? Malfoy didn't do anything wrong." My voice was quiet. I couldn't give up now. Ron wasn't about to die down and from the looks of it, Hermione was on edge as well. "Just let it go."  
  
"C'mon! You mean to tell me Malfoy said nothing to you. He didn't even acknowledge your presence for the WHOLE detention? But, still, there's something I wouldn't understand? It's bullshit, Harry. Tell me what happened." Hermione's voice was tense and she had a firm grip on my arm. "Don't tell me that Malfoy ignored you when you're acting like this."  
  
"I never said that. You're putting words in my mouth." I said pulling away. "Would you just lay off? Did you ever think that there's more to Malfoy than meets the eye?  
  
Ron and Hermione looked at each other quizzically. Why couldn't they just let it go? Why wasn't Hermione telling Ron to back off? Where was Hermione's smart ways when you needed them?  
  
"What are you playing at? Have you gone completely nutters?" Ron said, the bewilderment thick in his voice.  
  
It was now or never and I knew it. They were my friends and they had a right to know. It WAS Malfoy. The only question was, could I make them understand?  
  
"You guys don't know him." I started.  
  
"And you do?" Ron said incredulously. "You really have gone mad!"  
  
"WOULD YOU LISTEN?" I yelled. "Malfoy's been through a lot. I don't expect you to accept it, but Malfoy kissed me and I liked it."  
  
"WHAT? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?" Ron screamed, his voice echoing off of the walls. " HARRY, WHAT IN BLOODY HELL WERE YOU THINKING? HE'S MALFOY FOR MERLIN'S SAKE! YOU KNOW HE WAS PROBABLY AT OWLERY RIGHT NOW WRITING HIS FATHER?" Ron's voice changed into a mock Malfoy voice. "Daddy Dearest, I'm getting closer and closer to having Potter right where I want him. Hope to see you soon. And Daddy? Next time we're together can we shag like last time? It really was amazing-"  
  
"FUCK OFF, RON! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING SAYING!" I screamed matching his level perfectly. People were staring, but I didn't care. Ron was out of line and I wasn't about to let him get away with it.  
  
"No, Harry. You fuck off." Ron said. His voice cracked with emotion. "After everything that asshole has done to you? After everything he's done to me and Hermione? How the fuck could you stick up for him? I thought we were friends. I thought we were on the same side. I guess I was sadly mistaken." Ron shook his head and walked off.  
  
"Goddammnit!" I yelled. "Can you believe that Hermione? He didn't even wait for the story! He just fucking went off on me-" I looked up and saw Hermione for the first time. Tears were flowing down her cheeks and I could see the pain in her eyes.  
  
"You know Harry, for once, Ron is right. I know you have a reason. I know you aren't completely naive, but this is Malfoy. In time, I might be able to listen to the story and hear you out. But I'll never be able to forgive you Harry. Never..." Hermione's voice was quiet as she spoke. When she was done, she carefully wiped her eyes and walked away.  
  
"Hermione! Wait!" I called. Seeing her cry was too much. I didn't care how mad Ron was, but Hermione's tears made the whole situation worse. I felt awful. Why should I feel guilty for something beyond my control? Why hadn't I seen how I had betrayed them? Something snapped inside my head. Why should I feel guilty? They didn't hear me out and as far as I was concerned, it was none of their business.  
  
My mind was flooded with thoughts; Ron's yelling, Hermione's tears, Malfoy's kisses. I couldn't even think of sleep. I needed someone to listen. Somone who wasn't as biased. I needed to write to Sirius. He would understand.  
  
I went to the owlery as quickly as I could. I wrote the whole story in my letter. Everything from how I wound up in detention to the Hermione's last words. Sirius would understand. He had too. He was my last hope. With a nip on my finger, Hedwig was off into the night. All I could do now was wait.  
  
The few days following were tense. Ron wouldn't look at me and Hermione always had a sad, watery look when we made eye contact. I hadn't been sleeping or eating well, and every time the owl post came, I anxiously looked for Hedwig.  
  
I didn't get Sirius's reply until this morning. Exactly seven days after detention with Malfoy. I was ecstatic when I saw her swooping in. Finally, someone to talk too. Finally, someone to understand. I opened the parchment immediately, only to be disappointed by what I read.  
  
Harry- What in Merlin's name were you thinking? You do realize that Malfoy's family is right in there with Voldermort? I don't care how much he tells you that you can trust him. It's all lies. It's all the Malfoy family is good at, besides kissing the Dark Lord's ass. I feel that Ron and Hermione have every right to be mad. I'm mad as well. Harry, you have to look out for yourself, and if you're gallivanting around with Malfoy, you'll being doing yourself a huge disservice. Harry, I want you to promise me by return owl that you are done with Malfoy. Leave anything that happened between the two of you alone. You're life isn't worth it. -Best Regards, Sirius  
  
Anger flowed through my veins as I reread the story. I can't believe that Sirius, of all people, won't understand. He's my family. My ONLY family. Family should accept you no matter what. Shouldn't they?  
  
So, there I was sitting here on my bed, completely alone. I have no one to talk to. My friends hate me. My only family refuses to let me be and it's all because of one decision seven days ago.  
  
In the distance, a small figure began to form. At first, I thought I was imagining it, but sure enough it was. It was Malfoy's eagle flying straight toward my window. When he arrived I took the piece of parchment and read it immediately.  
  
Harry- I know I said some stupid things the other night. I was wrong. Please understand the predicament I found myself in. My father will never accept this and I know it. You have to know that I've never found myself attracted to men before and it took my complete surprise that it was you that I wanted to badly. I understand that you hate me and that I said some awful things, but I have no one to talk to Potter. No one will understand. Please find it in your heart to forgive me. I need you, Harry. I need you to understand. -Draco  
  
I don't think my heart has ever beaten as fast as it is right now. I pulled out a piece of parchment.  
  
Draco- I understand you exactly. I need you too. -Harry ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Chapter 2: Done! I've officially had the taste of reviews and I like it. I'm not ashamed. So please, feed my ego. Love it or hate it? REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!! *insert puppy dog eyes* Pretty please? I'll give you a piece of Harry Potter ice cream cake...well...maybe....( 


	3. He Knows

Disclaimer: Mine? Psh. I wish. They belong to Ms. JKR. And don't bother trying to sue. I'm an unemployed high school student who gets her kicks talking 'bout gay men.  
  
A/N: Guess who's back? Back again? Ash is back! Tell your friends! ....Ok that was my bad attempt at being Eminem, but ya know. Really sorry this took so long. I just wasn't sure how to get where I wanted to be. I know how I want this to go, it's just getting there is taking longer than I thought. Maybe it's because I didn't have as much motivation this time. (*hint hint* I didn't get as many reviews ~hint hint~) Anyway I want to send another million and a half praises to Essa! In case you guys haven't noticed, she still rocks. And to Bridgette. Girl, you fo' real, man! *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *  
  
Twenty-seven minutes. That's how long I'd been waiting for him. Unless you count the seven days before I got his note. Then I'd been waiting for 10,080 minutes. Not that I'd been counting. Leave it to Draco to make me wait more, especially in an old drafty Astronomy Tower.  
  
"Sorry." He said breathlessly. "Sometimes it's hard to tell when Crabbe is really out. He talks in his sleep. A LOT."  
  
"How did you know he was really asleep then?" I asked knowing full and well that if Crabbe found out where Malfoy was, this whole situation would be over before it started. He may act tough but Draco was really chicken shit."  
  
"He started making sense." Draco said with a laugh, his eyes twinkling lightly.  
  
An awkward silence passed before either of us spoke. I was quiet, in fear of my words scaring off Draco. He was quiet out of sheer terror.  
  
"Harry, I'm really sorry about the way I behaved the other night. I was terrified. I'm still trying to accept that I really do like you. That it wasn't just a fluke. I really care about you Harry. I realized that and that's why I wrote you. I couldn't walk around without you knowing. I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you wrote back."  
  
My heart was leaping in my chest. I just knew he could see it. For some reason though, it didn't matter. Somehow I knew he felt the same way. Just as awkward, nervous, and scared as I was.  
  
"I really like you too, Malfoy." I said, finally finding my courage.  
  
"Don't say that." He retorted sharply.  
  
"I'm sorry...Draco." I corrected myself. I suppose if something was going to happen between us, it would be best if I could call him by his first name.  
  
"Not my name. Well, yes my name, but that's not what I meant." Draco said with half a smile.  
  
"Then, what did you mean?" I asked quizzically. He was more confusing than I thought for.  
  
"I meant don't say that you really like me." He said quietly. "B-but I-I do, Draco. Really. Don't be thick. If I didn't I wouldn't be here." I said bewildered. I tried to take his hand but he pulled away.  
  
"You don't even know me." He said crossing the room to stand by the window. He crossed his arms in front of his chest trying to completely shut himself off from me.  
  
"You don't know me either. That's what relationships are for. We'll get to know each other more. Soon we'll know everything." I was trying to keep it light. Draco was shutting down and I knew that if I said one wrong thing, I would lose him completely.  
  
"Sure I do." Draco said with bitterness in his voice. "Why, you're Harry Potter. You're the Boy Who Lived."  
  
"That's not the real me !" I shouted my anger getting the best of me. "I told you not to pretend to know me! Don't assume like everyone else."  
  
"I know more about you and you're life than you do Harry. I know things that would make your hair curl. I know all about your past and all about your life here. All you know about me is what came out the other night. You tell me who's pretending to know whom here, Harry." Draco's lips had formed a tight line and his eyes were dark with anger.  
  
"And the other night we learned we had the same life. I know about you Draco and I don't care. Why does this have to be so difficult? Why can't you just let what happens happen?" I was screaming now and the tears were back in my eyes. I couldn't help it anymore. My week had been bad enough. Now the one person that I thought understood me was pulling away. I didn't need this. Not now.  
  
" It doesn't have to be any way, Harry. It just is this way because of our pasts. We can't change it. I thought coming here tonight would put my mind at ease. I don't even know what I want anymore."  
  
"Bullshit!" I wanted to yell at him "you want me! You know you do!" but I couldn't find the courage to do it. I wanted to yell at him that I understood more than he knew but I couldn't make the words come out. It was all beginning to be to much.  
  
"It's not! I have no idea what I've gotten myself into. I really have no idea what I want." Malfoy said, sounding more like he was trying to convince himself, rather than me.  
  
" Then why are you here?"  
  
"Potter, you have to understand-"  
  
"Quit calling me that. If I have to call you Draco then you can call me harry. Quit saying Potter like I'm less than you. By the way you're acting tonight, I know I'm a better man than you could even think of being."  
  
"Fine then. Maybe you are better than I am. But I still came here didn't I? I could've stood you up, but I didn't. I'm just trying to figure things out Harry. That's all I'm trying to do here. Do you understand what I'm risking? Do you have any idea?" Malfoy's voice quivered slightly and he tried to cover it by clearing his throat.  
  
"I'm taking a risk here, too. I'm going against everything I believe in. I'm going against my friends. I'm going against my family. But I'm still here, I'm willing to take this risk. I'm not a coward. I go for what I think is right." I said, through clenched teeth.  
  
"Ever the Gryffindor, I see. I know you're taking risks here too, Harry, but they aren't like mine. Do you have any idea what they'll do to me if they find out? I opened up to you. I kissed you. For Merlin's sake, Harry. I jerked off thinking about you. If they ever find out, I'm dead. I've ruined the Malfoy name. I've gone against everything that my father has ever told me. I can never be a DeathEater. NEVER."  
  
"Do you want to be?"  
  
"That's irrelevant. The thing is, I have decisions to make. I have things to think about. I really thought this would be easier. But it's not. I was sure of what I wanted and then I came here tonight and second guessed everything." Malfoy said with his eyes on he ground.  
  
"Irrelevant as it might be, I think I have a right to know." I said. My heart fell 5 feet to the floor as Malfoy spoke. I didn't want to think about him being a DeathEater, but apparently I was going to have to.  
  
"I don't have a choice. They'll kill me if I don't join them." His voice was soft; I had to strain to hear it.  
  
"You do-" I started but I was cut off by a tapping on the window. A handsome eagle was perched on the ledge. "Wha-why is there an owl in the Astronomy Tower?"  
  
I turned to look at Malfoy and noticed he was ghostly white. His eyes were the size of plates and filled with tears. He looked as though he was going to be sick.  
  
"Draco? What is it? Are you-"  
  
"He knows." He said quietly. " He knows, Harry. That's it. It' s over."  
  
"What are you talking about Draco?" I was confused. Why had Draco gone all sixes-and-sevens on me?  
  
"The owl. He'll go back to father and then he'll know. He'll tell the Dark Lord. Oh gods! What have I done? I have to go! I have no choice." Draco babbled quickly.  
  
"Draco! You aren't making a bit of sense. Could you please make a coherent statement.?" I was starting to panic, but nothing could prepare me for what came next.  
  
"The owl. It's my father's." *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ * ALRIGHT! Finally done with Chapter 3! Chapter 4 will be a breeze now that I finally have my set up. Please, please, please review guys. I'll give you a big virtual hug. And if you read it and don't respond and I find out? I'll be medieval on your virtual ass! Thanks a ton guys!~Ash 


	4. NOTICE

Okay guys. It's a really rough time around here and I'm not sure if I'm going to finish this story or not. About 2 and a half weeks ago, my oldest brother, Josh, was the victim of a hate crime. He was severely beaten just because he's gay and has been in the intensive care unit. It's really a scary thing because they don't know if he'll remember us or be able to talk or walk again because there was severe head trauma. He woke up yesterday and he's a little responsive so we're all praying. The whole Harry Potter slash thing is something that we shared together and it's kind of hard to think about continuing writing when he was my inspiration. I hope you guys understand. Thank you. ~Uglykid 


	5. Home to Stay

Disclaimer: Mine? Psh. I wish. They belong to Ms. JKR. And don't bother trying to sue. I'm an unemployed high school student who gets her kicks talking 'bout gay men.  
  
A/N: To all of you who responded about my brother, I can't thank you enough. Your prayers are appreciated and hopefully, working. Josh has been much more responsive lately, and though he still hasn't been talking, the doctors still think there is room for a full recovery. This morning he was moving his toes by himself, which is a HUGE step and we couldn't be happier. You have no idea what your support has done for me. It's such and amazing feeling knowing that people you've never met and people that have no idea anything about you are willing to take time out of there day to pray for someone they don't know. It makes me proud to be a part of the fanfic community. A million thank you's and God bless you all: Ebon Wings, LadyVader, beautifulelf, SunGoddess, Tim, Mary , raya, Caz, Malfoy, KittyFD13, Danielle, Dark Fairy, Adam, and Essa. Know that I'm here for all of you if the time comes that you should need someone to talk too. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* ~  
  
My face was frozen with horror and from the way Draco looked, terrified was an understatement. He looked near tears and was pale and shaky. He looked like he might throw up at any moment. A million thoughts were rushing through my mind.  
  
"B-but...how can he know? H-his bird only just arrived." I said trying not to let the fear show in my voice.  
  
"He'll know, Harry." Malfoy said weakly. "When his owl returns, he'll know."  
  
"Birds can't talk, Draco. There's no way...there's ....we'll be ok....we're meant to be...he can't..." I tried to form sentences but everything was jumbling inside my mind. This couldn't be. Draco understood. He was all I had. We needed each other.  
  
"HAVE YOU RETAINED NOTHING I'VE SAID, HARRY? Do you realize the FUCKING POWER my father has?" Draco looked crestfallen. " Harry, I know you don't understand. Even if by some chance he doesn't find out there is no way I could life a life of maybe's and what-if's with you. Not until Father is gone. But you have to know that I know we could've been great. We would've lasted for eternity. I'll come back for you. One day, Harry. Know I'll never stop thinking of you. When I've escaped my father, I'll be there for you. Please, Harry. Always remember. You belong with me. One day, I'll bring you home to stay."  
  
Draco looked me deep in the eyes and kissed me one more time. Then he turned and walked out the door.  
  
Draco wasn't at breakfast the next morning. As a matter of fact, he wasn't in any classes. By lunch time, I was so upset that I just stayed in my dorm, to depressed to eat. I couldn't face everyone with him gone and Ron and Hermione avoiding me. I curled up on my bed in the fetal position until there was a knock on the door.  
  
"Go away." I said shortly into my pillow.  
  
"Harry? You didn't come down for lunch and you've been so quiet all day. I thought I'd bring you a plate and see if you wanted to talk." Hermione said quietly.  
  
"I'm not hungry."  
  
"Harry, please. I'm trying here. Something is really bothering you and I know if it was the other way around, you'd be doing the same thing." Hermione said stepping further into the room.  
  
" If it was the other way around, I wouldn't have been avoiding you like the plague. Why does it matter to you anyway? You don't care. In case you've forgotten, it's Malfoy." I said with the sarcasm dripping off every word.  
  
"I'm really worried about you, Harry. I've never seen you like this. Ron's really worried as well. We want to help but you have to understand how hard this is." Hermione said sounding anxious.  
  
"Psh. I'm sure he's upset." I said bitterly. " He wouldn't care if a hippogriff took a huge bite out of my arse right now."  
  
"I am upset, Harry." Ron's voice came quietly from behind Hermione. "I've never seen you be so happy and then hit this low so quickly. You're bloody scaring the hell out of me. I swear to Merlin, Harry, If Malfoy hurt you, I'll kick his arse. Merlin knows this is hard on us."  
  
"That is, if this has something to do with Malfoy." Hermione interjected.  
  
"Of course it does." I said sharply. " And don't give me that 'this is hard' bullshit. You haven't got any idea what this is like for me!"  
  
All at once the tears were pouring down my face and Hermione's arms were around me. Sobs were wracking through my body and I didn't care anymore the things that they had said. They were willing to listen and right then, it was what I needed most. The whole story, from detention to the moment they walked into the door, only took an hour to tell. After I was done, I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. When I looked up, Ron's eyes werew glued to floor and Hermione's face was streaked with tears. "Harry....I ....I had no idea." Hermione choked. "I'm sorry I didn't listen. I'm....sorry."  
  
"S'not your fault." I said quietly into her shoulder. I felt Ron placed his hand on my back.  
  
"His...his father can't really do anything, can he? I mean, it's an owl. Maybe if you just go and talk to Mal-....Draco....you'll see it's all ok." Ron said, stumbling over his words.  
  
"It's not that easy. He hasn't been in any classes today. I can't get into the Slytherin commons. It's over. I'll just have to let it go. He told me he'd come back to me one day. One day, he'll take me home to stay." I said quietly, finally feeling the sleep deprivation of the night before.  
  
"Ron," Hermione said, "let's leave him be so he can sleep."  
  
"Alright, if you think it's what he wants." All I could do was nod. The sleep was slowly overcoming me.  
  
"Just know we're here, Harry. And...we're sorry." Hermione said, hoarsely.  
  
"Thanks 'Mione....hey...do you think it was really his father...or was it me?"  
  
"Oh, Harry." Hermione said with fresh tears falling down her face. "It could never be you." And with that she turned and left.  
  
I slept the rest of the day and didn't wake again until the middle of the night when I felt a hand shaking me.  
  
"Harry? I need you to wake up." Dumbledore said quietly. "We need to talk."  
  
I sat up quickly grabbing my glasses. "What is it, Professor? Is something wrong with Sirius?" Panic was racing through my veins and my heart was beating quickly.  
  
"I think that it's best if we move to my office, Harry."  
  
I was numb the whole entire walk to the office. By the time we had entered and sat down, my knees were shaking so badly I didn't know if I'd ever be able to walk again.  
  
"Harry," Dumbledore began slowly, "there's been an accident. We tried to get there in time, Harry, but there was nothing we could do. You must understand that he did not suffer for long. It was quick. I rest assure if we could have saved him, we would have, but there was simply no hope."  
  
My blood ran through my veins like ice. My heart had stopped in my chest and every time I tried to take a breath, a sharp pain shot through my chest.  
  
"Was it Sirius? What's happened to him?" I said in a blaze of panic.  
  
"No, Harry, It was Draco Malfoy." Dumbledore said quietly. " His father found out about your tryst late last evening and sent for him immediately. He told us it was a family emergency. Had we known at that time what we know now, we could have stopped it, but alas, there was no way to know."  
  
Tears were numbly pouring down my face. How could it be? Just nine days before he was kissing me. He couldn't be gone. It was a lie. Not my Draco.  
  
"H- how....bu- but...why did you tell...m-m-me?" I stammered through my tears.  
  
"He wrote you a letter, Mr. Potter. Unfortunately, Mr. Malfoy knew what was to come. I think you should read this in private." Dumbledore left me alone in his office to read my letter. My hands trembled as I opened it.  
  
My dearest Harry~ If you're reading this, then I'm already gone. I wanted to tell you goodbye. I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through but know that everything I said was true. Nothing was lie. I know that when I arrive home I will be given a choice. Either become a DeathEater and kill you, or die to save you. I have chosen to save you, Harry. These past eight days have been some of the best of my life. I hope you know that I didn't want to hurt you. One day, we'll be together again Harry. I dreamed last night that we were separated, waiting for Father to pass. You were in Paris living your life and all of your dreams had come true, Harry. And they will. Know that I'm watching over you. One day, Harry, you'll be with me. And we'll be home to stay. All of me and everything that I am~ Draco  
  
I wasn't allowed to be at Draco's funeral. It was just to risky, Dumbledore said. Sometimes, when I feel like the risk isn't to great, I take a trip out to the garden built in his memory. In the few days Draco and I spent together, as crazy as they may have been, I experienced something I'd never felt before. I was wanted. I was loved. As hard as it has been I know that one day Draco and I will be back together. And then I'll be home to stay.  
  
There was a time when I thought my life could change no more than in those seven days. I was wrong. How long does it take for life to change completely? Nine days. Only nine days. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *  
  
Finished! Thanks guys. I want you to know that this story really did have a happy ending. In light of recent events, I changed it. I'm sorry that it took the darker tone. Someone e mailed me and told me to use writing as my outlet, so I did. I hope you guys still liked it. Please review. And once again thank you for all the support.  
  
A/N: I also wanted to say that I used some pieces of a Josh Groban song in this chapter. It's called "Home to Stay" and it's a gorgeous song. I'm putting the lyrics down here. Everyone should download it or something. It's amazing.  
  
"Home To Stay"  
  
I know you're gone  
  
I watched you leave  
  
I always thought  
  
That it was me  
  
You made it clear  
  
With that last kiss  
  
You couldn't live a life  
  
With maybe's and whatif's  
  
When every boat  
  
Has sailed away  
  
And every path  
  
Is marked and paved  
  
When every road  
  
Has had its say  
  
Then I'll be bringing you back  
  
Home to stay  
  
I have the cards you sent to me  
  
You wrote of trains and Paris galleries  
  
This spring you'll draw  
  
Canals, and frescoed walls  
  
Look how far your dreaming's gone  
  
When every town looks just the same  
  
When every choice gets hard to make  
  
When every map is put away  
  
Then I'll be bringing you back  
  
Home to stay  
  
And now I know why you had to go alone  
  
Isn't there a place between  
  
When every boat  
  
Has sailed away  
  
And every path  
  
Is marked and paved  
  
When every road  
  
Has had its say  
  
Then I'll be bringing you back  
  
Home to stay  
  
Reach out to me  
  
Call out my name  
  
And I would bring you back again  
  
Today 


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